The one about being conscious

The absolute worst for me, is to just be "alive".
Waking up in the morning, ticking the boxes of your daily routine, going to bed at night.
It is tiring me and I realise that I am nothing else but existing.

I wallow in memories of the past and wonder about the future ahead of me. Instead of living in this exact moment.

There have been times like these in the past, once I`m in it, it is hard to get out of there again. It is like living surrounded by a grey cloud. You are practically there, present, but just fogged. While it is hard for the sun to get through.

Photography has helped me a lot this time. The thing about it is, it captures this exact moment. No past, no future. Just this one moment. This one second you`re hitting the release. This one second where the light shines brighter than the second before, this one second a person laughs an exceptional laugh, louder and wider than the second before.

Consciousness. That is what I was looking for, for such a long time. Being in the moment. Accepting yourself in this moment of time and appreciating the beauty and uniqueness of it.